The Bunny Suit
by Zxel
Summary: Petey sighed. When Gary put his mind to something, it was very hard to do anything but what he wanted you to do. [Crack][Oneshot]


**The Bunny Suit**

Bullworth Vale was boring. Even during Halloween, which was Gary's favorite holiday and probably the best day of the entire year, Bullworth Vale was freaking boring. No decorations, no shop keepers dressed as ghouls, no stores selling children any bloodied clothing, no nothing.

Which made it very frustrating when one was trying to find a costume.

"Dammit!" Gary yelled, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to curse this town and the stupendously boring boredom it induced. "Damn it to hell!"

Several affronted looking people hurried away from him. One couple, in their haste, strode right out onto the street, where the woman got hit by some preppie zooming by on an Aquaberry racer. Her fluffy hat went flying. Grumbling to himself, Gary shuffled along the sidewalk, scanning store windows for any sign of Halloween costume-ness as he passed. One shop was selling the basics, witch costumes, mummy wrappings, vampire cloaks and the like. Gary tried his luck there and exited, surprisingly satisfied, with a bag holding an Allgemeine SS uniform and hat - an excellent haul even without the boots, considering that he'd had to punch some kid in the stomach and then run from the boy's grandmother through the store in order to obtain it.

He shuddered at the thought of having to spend Halloween dressed as a vampire and figured that beating up small children for his costume was a worthy sacrifice. He had leather boots back at Bullworth anyway.

They were very sexy.

He found a skeleton costume in a store about a block down for Jimmy, and some face paint in the bag of some other shopper. It would probably go unnoticed. Probably. Anyway, Jimmy was going to look kickass, and Gary wasn't going to tell him about the school's collective hatred for skeleton outfits, which had spawned last year, when a boy dressed like a skeleton had molested approximately seventeen girls before the night was over and the prefects caught him. It was going to be an interesting evening, no matter what he had to do to make it so.

And now for Petey. Ah, Petey. Where could he find something totally humiliating?

A sexy nurse costume? No. Too much like last year, when he had gone as the Mad Hatter to Petey's short-skirted Alice. Gary prided himself on originality; he couldn't have repeats, no matter how much he really, really, _really_ wanted to see Peter in that nurse's outfit. No. He had willpower, damn it all.

... Mm, Petey in a dress.

"Will you _please_ cease dribbling all over my Aquaberry loafers!?" Squawked Gord Vendrome indignantly before stalking away, loafers shining with drops of spit. Gary wiped the corner of his mouth with his hand, scowling.

And then he saw it. Yes! As Parker and Justin cleared away, disapproving frowns on their richboy faces, Gary saw it, shining out of the store across the street like a beacon of beautiful, beautiful hope. There, in the window, on full display, like a pink, furry _angel_ was Petey's costume. It was magnificent, frosting pink with white markings on the tummy and paw bottoms. Absolutely brilliant, gleaming there in the shop for the world to see, the sun illuminating it, bathing it in a golden aura. It was a bunny suit. Oh, God, it was a bunny suit!

Gary just about creamed his pants.

"Oh, God, oh God." He whispered, running forth to touch his hands - no!, yes!, no, don't spoil it!, I must! - to the glass, leaving oily fingerprints on the window; smudging them as he longingly ran his hands down the length of the costume. "_Yes._"

"Are you okay, kid?" Asked a passerby.

Gary moaned, touching his forehead to the glass. The man shook his head and kept walking, muttering something about children and medication. Oh please, just because Gary hadn't taken his depressants this morning... Clearly, the stranger did not understand the magnitude of this discovery.

He ran in and bought the fluffy uniform, trying not to groan as he felt the pink fuzz underneath his fingers on the way out of the shop and ignoring the cashier when she questioned his mental wellbeing. This was going to be perfect!

-----

Pete Kowalski was very disturbed indeed to be interrupted, right before he turned the doorknob and entered his room, by Gary's giggling.

He paused, blinked, shook his head. Gary _giggling?_ The hell?!

Petey pressed his ear to the door, squinting as though that might help him hear more accurately. Gary _was_ giggling. In fact, Gary sounded very, very happy in there. Petey blushed darkly and was about to leave the Boy's Dorm and maybe never, ever come back, when Gary spoke.

"You're bad. Oh, this was my best idea ever." He chuckled. "Yes, you're very dirty aren't you?"

Oh. My. God. Petey swallowed hard, torn between running to the bathroom to scrub his ears off and staying at the door to listen.

"Mmm, yeah."

Dear lord, who the hell was in there?

"Wait until little Petey gets back."

Petey made a face. He was _not_ being dragged in to whatever was going on in that room.

"And he sees you sprawled out like this on his bed."

Oh, hell no. Gary was not doing the nasty on his bed. Gross! Petey grasped the doorknob and swung the door open, storming angrily into the room, prepared to kick ass and take names.

"Gary!" He shouted, and then paused when Gary looked up at him, buried in his sheets and holding tightly onto a large, fluffy pink rabbit. For the second time in so many minutes, Petey blinked and shook his head vigorously in disbelief. "What the hell are you doing?"

Gary shrugged. "Nothing. I bought you a costume."

For the first time, Petey realized what the furry pink rabbit actually was. Then, slowly, he screamed, to the annoyance of several other boys with nearby rooms. "No way! Never in a million years! Last year was bad enough!"

"Oh, you'll look so good in it, though!" Gary pouted, holding the suit up and making it move as if it were talking. "'I like you, Petey. Wear me. I'm cooooomfy!'"

Petey stared for a long moment before clearing his throat. "Well, that's it, I'm asking Crabblesnitch for a new roommate."

"Come on, Femme-boy." Gary grouched. "Wear the damn thing."

"I'll look like a complete jerk!" Petey groaned.

"You'll look alright, promise. Put it on."

Petey sighed. When Gary put his mind to something, it was very hard to do anything but what he wanted you to do. "Fine, fine. I'll wear it, but I'm never forgiving you. Now get out so I can change."

Gary smirked, but whined like a child. "Noooo. I'm cozy here."

Oh, he had to be kidding. Petey's lip trembled as the pink bunny costume was tossed at him and he began changing, Gary staring unabashedly at him the entire time.

Why did God hate him so much?

-----

And so it was that Gary got to see Petey naked, Petey went as a giant pink rabbit for Halloween, Jimmy got wailed on by a mob of angry female students, and Gary had the best Halloween ever.

Ever. 


End file.
